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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30135342">Toaster Saga</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/asTHEDUDEas/pseuds/asTHEDUDEas'>asTHEDUDEas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 17:02:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,239</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30135342</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/asTHEDUDEas/pseuds/asTHEDUDEas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You have hot toaster sex with a hot toaster.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. A Toast to the Comfort of Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>oh yeah you're a girl with a pp and you live with your best friend.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a normal day; cicadas were humming,  the moon was shining, as far as I'm concerned, it was perfect. After a long day of work, it was a relief to come home to a (hopefully) quiet house. As I unlocked the front door to my apartment, the atmosphere thickened. Something felt off, but I ignored it, thinking it was nothing. Walking in, a feeling of dread hung over me, the air thicker than molasses. Again, I ignored it, thinking it was just humid. I plop down my bag and hobble to my room. My eyes were squinted, due to the brightness of the apartment lights. Because of this,  I couldn't see very well. Thinking the bed was empty, I flop down on it. In the middle of my flop, however, I feel something hard and metal on the bed. I instinctively hop back up and check the bed. Nothing. I lay on it, thinking my roommate, (f/n), slipped edibles into the leftovers again.Getting back up, I change and turn off the lights. Almost immediately I smell the classic smell of freshly buttered toast. I shake it off, thinking I'm hella' high.<br/>      I close my eyes and feel the same metal thing as the smell of toast gets stronger. My eyes flick open, and I see a beautiful (favorite color) toaster. I soon find out that I can't move, though, because my hands were pinned up above me. As I looked up at this suddenly sexy hunk of metal,  I felt a heat in my pants. That naughty toaster had his cord in my boxers! I couldn't stop it, even if I tried. Yet I didn't want it to. The toaster asked for consent, mixed in with toaster-like moans, of course<br/>. It turns out, this isn't even your toaster. This is your toaster's cousin. He thought that it would be considered cheating, technically, it is. As you're his cousin's human. You hastily said yes, who would pass up this beautiful, sexy thing?<br/>      This, of course made him very  excited. He then began trying to make out with me. Instead bringing that same heat to my mouth. He made his way down my neck and abused my sweet spot, forcing me to give out a soft moan. She leaned in to my ear and whispered "fuck me daddy". That naughty broad then started traveling downwards to the brim of my boxers. That naughty broad wanted to fuck me right then and there! I tried to push her off of me, but she wouldn't let off; she was putting all of her energy into fucking me, and there was nothing that was going to keep her from doing that. She attacked my bottoms, ripping them off, leaving you bare. In my embarrassment, I attempted to cover up, but alas, she was too strong. She started stroking me, making me hard enough for her to fuck me. She then plunged my length into her, turned on the heat, and started bouncing. Even though I didn't enjoy it in the slightest, the heat stimulated me enough to derive some pleasure. Suddenly, it heated up a lot more than before, and she was bouncing much faster. She then shouted above her symphony of moans "i-I'm gonna c-cUM" I responded, "same brotha". She released a load of bread crumbs onto my cock, as I ripped a load into her. We cuddled each other to sleep, naked.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Bathing in Comfort</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This was supposed to be wholesome but it turned out edgy. I'll just let ya read it and find out what happens.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>OHHH YEAH watch out for descriptions of injuries towards the end so click off if ya don't want that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After waking up, I slowly realized what had happened that past night. I get up and walk to the kitchen for breakfast. Upon entering the kitchen, I'm greeted by my roommate. Her hair is unusually messed up, and there are questionable white stains decorating her clothes. She also happens to reek of lady boner, also known as "the horny". I ask her, "Have fun last night?" She scowls at me. "Thanks to you and the toaster, I was able to have a restless night full of nagging thoughts that told me to do it with our old toaster. So, I sat there all night, pathetically trying to flick the bean to a goddamn toaster. A fuckin' toaster man. Nice cock, by the way" she snaps and mumbles the last part. I look at her puzzled for a moment before putting two and two together. She essentially saw a sex tape of me and a toaster! I start sweating profusely and my fight or flight response kicks in. <br/>Unluckily for me, my mind decides it wants to fight. <br/>      My fist flies towards her face, despite my profuse attempts to stop it. I dislocate her jaw with my strong man arm and I go running back to my room. I grab the toaster and break the window, heading for the street. Fortunately for me, I had my wallet, which had both me and my roommate's debit cards. I walk to the nearest hotel and it just so happens to be a love hotel. I go up to the front desk and buy a room for a week, using all of my savings to do so. <br/>      The lady sends my toaster a dirty look after shooting me a dirty look. My man arm acts up again, and dislocates her jaw as well. I run up to my room with my beautiful toaster. I look down at her and tell her, "It's ok hon, let's go to the room" She doesn't respond. Instead, she sits there, motionless, like the old, crusty toaster always did. I bust into my room and run to the bathroom. I find a plug and plug in my toaster. She does nothing. She just sits there, and I start to think that she died. I nuzzle her, "I love you, do you want to take a bath?" She's unresponsive. I fill the tub with nice, warm water, and I add plenty of bubbles. As I begin to strip, I look at my penis. It has deep gashes and burns covering it. I pass it off and get in the bath. I say sweetly, "Hey, toaster honey, why not get in with me?" Yet again, she doesn't respond. I pick her up, and set her in the bath with me. It seems like I fall asleep.<br/>      I wake up in the hospital. After being punched so hard my jaw was dislocated, I didn't remember much. I look up at the crappy hospital TV. The news is on. "Man found dead in love hotel after assumed suicide attempt" the headline is. I squint at the picture of the man. I'd recognize that cock anywhere! It's my fucked up roommate! They explain the case, and say he'd dislocated the counter lady's jaw and managed to make her bleed out. My roommate is dead, my debit card is gone, and both of my toasters are ruined. How can my life be any worse?<br/>      "The man seemed to think that the toaster was his lover. After examining his injuries, we've determined that he'd made love with the toaster multiple times before. He'd been to a mental hospital before, and he was diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses. We'd found a wallet in his clothes that contained both him and his roommate's IDs and debit cards. His roommate, Jill Rudd, was punched on the morning of his death. She, too, suffered  from a dislocated jaw. She is currently hospitalized and will be interviewed once she is in good health. More details will emerge soon."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>BONUS:<br/>your roomate's POV:</p>
<p>As I walk inside, I see that the new toaster I just bought was gone. I thought, oh (y/n) must be using it in her room, she loves eating toast in the corner alone. I walked into her room, in pursuit of the toaster, as I wanted a toast. The sight that meets me almost kills me. It's (y/n) cuddling with the toaster NAKED. I was shocked, mostly at the fact she has a dick and no tits. I decided to check the security camera in her room to see what went down. Not my proudest wank.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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